I can’t believe I got it so wrong. As many of you will know, I have been stressing like hell at the thought of turning 40. So much so, that I cancelled all birthday celebrations and wanted to let it pass without acknowledgement. 

Yet upon reflection, I realised I had not only been looking at it from the wrong perspective, I’ve also been incredibly short sighted. 

What changed?

I received a Facebook message, from an old friend I used to play football with when I was about fifteen. He went on to tell me some sad news about another old pal of mine, who had sadly passed away. It came as a total shock and got me thinking about life in general and getting older. Here was me, feeling somewhat down trodden and negative about turning forty. And yet, my old mate from football, had that opportunity taken away from him at such a young age. To say I felt like an ungrateful cunt, would have been an understatement. 

It was only the week before, I had read on Facebook about another old school friend whose sister, only a few years younger than me, had also passed away. It really hits home when it is someone you know. And, it got me thinking…spend less time on Facebook and…

I am so grateful for life

It is incredibly fascinating how our perception can change in an instant. Suddenly, reaching the ripe old age of forty seemed like an incredible feat and milestone to achieve. Not something to fear or be negative over. 

I, just like many others, let my ego take over. It is my ego that asks questions that may or may not evoke a feeling of joy or despair. It all comes down to ones perception. 

The key to personal growth and abundance is ensuring you’re asking yourself better questions. Digging deeper to find the real answers to many of life’s mysteries. I am all for positivity, and all that jazz, but if you’re not asking the right questions than you’re merely creating questions that fit alongside the answers you want to hear. And, I’m afraid to say, that isn’t what growth or development is about. In fact that isn’t what life is about. 

Life isn’t about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself. 

Finding yourself is extremely easy. But, it can also be a scary fucking reality. I well and truly found myself about three years ago. The place in which I found myself was a dark one; full of stress and despair. I was a broken man. Emotionally and financially. I was forced into a life of minimalism and scarcity - not through fucking choice I can tell you. I had hit rock bottom. But, from there I was able to embark on a profound journey. That journey started with a single step and from there I set about creating myself. My goal, first and foremost, was about creating my story. Creating my legacy. 

Fast forward three years and I know exactly who I am. Equally important, is knowing what I’m not. Being aware of both is crucial, but having clarity and giving priority to what you want in life is far more effective than concentrating on what you don’t want. With effective application, knowing what you want in life will allow you to implement the structure and strategy in order for you to move towards your goals. Knowing what you don’t want, should be used as a tool to not allow yourself to go backwards in your pursuit of happiness and fulfilment. 

Simplified, this hypothesis goes something like this - use your past experiences as the stepping stones to success. Use this exact moment to take conscious action in moving closer to becoming your true authentic self. Embrace growing older as part of your journey. Appreciate each day you wake up. And, remember that life isn’t a given - it’s a gift that shouldn’t be taken for granted. 

Life is for living

Whether you’re twenty, forty or sixty, you should be grateful for simply existing in life. But, don’t stop there! Ask yourself how you can improve and finish the day fulfilled and most importantly happy. It’s all too easy to forget that being happy is what the vast majority of us strive for. But, we often forget about such simple emotions in search of something new. Bigger, brighter and, more often or not, something easier to obtain. But that isn’t how life works. Not if you want to be happy in life. Quite often, it’s not the end goal itself that brings about change or fulfilment, it’s the journey along the way. 

I can’t wait to hit the big 40. 

It’s a gift, a blessing in disguise. And, I can tell you now that any time spent not growing is a waste of life. 

Create your own adventure.