PORN: Are You F*cking Yourself in The Arse?
Let's be honest, when we watched movies as kids such as Rocky or Enter The Dragon it may have gotten us all excited and for a short period of time, it might have even been enough to inspire us to go jogging in the park, hit the pads in the gym or bash the kid that’s been pissing you off at school. Perhaps you were more of a Bruce Lee fan and decided you needed death stars and nunchucks just in case you got jumped by Ninjas at the local youth centre. I am going to hedge my bet and say that I suspect the early morning jog’s and dream of becoming a boxer didn’t last long? Probably just as quickly as you realised that hitting a target with death stars wasn't as easy as it looked in the movies. That my friends is because it was just that; a movie!
A make-believe scenario that has actors, sets, and a fictional storyline made for your entertainment and pleasure. No different to an episode of the Game of Thrones and yet I don’t see anyone commuting to work on a fire-breathing dragon or attempting to fuck their own sister? At least I sincerely hope not (Game of Thrones fans will know what I’m talking about)
So why are so many guys trying to re-enact their favorite scenes after watching porn? And why is it so many guys are surprised when they receive a negative response when doing so?
Porn nowadays is so much more than just sex. It's a fantasy to some, a perversion to others, and a pick me up to a select few. Just because it happens in a porno doesn't mean you should try to re-enact it in the bedroom. Use it to spice up your sex life by all means. Even take some inspiration from it, but be under no illusions that it’s a fictional movie no less than Spiderman.
If you're lucky enough to have a partner who takes it up the arse then great for you. But don't be surprised if you get a negative response if you try putting your old boy in their mouth afterward. I mean each to their own but I'd be inclined to say it's a rarity to get the green light on a little ATM action (arse to mouth) in real life. This is what I call a porno exclusive, for the best part anyhow.
The same goes for spitting, slapping and gagging. I'm not saying there aren't women who like a little mild bondage where spanking heightens the sexual experience. In fact, many women fantasize about being tied up and dominated by a lover they trust and respect. But the key point here is the “love and respect” aspect. In a woman's head, the scenario is played out differently to how it plays out in a guys head. They expect teasing, passion, lust and fulfilment. Whereas most guys are thinking about spitting and cumming in a woman's face so much so they envisage her mascara running down her face, spanking her arse while screaming “who’s ya fucking daddy” and slapping their manhood on her forehead - because ….well, because women like that right?
Wrong!!
You have to realise a number of key points:
Fantasies are unlikely to be explored in a one night stand
Fantasies are better attempted whilst not intoxicated
Most pornos are shot on a film set with disposable props
Woman often need to build up trust with a partner before exploring their fantasies
There is a big difference between being dominated and abused
Some things are better left in the movies
Things get edited, certain scenes are deleted and I reiterate once again for all the have-go swordsman out there…90% of what you see on Porn Hub is make-believe. I was out one evening a few months ago with some friends and we got on the subject of anal sex. One particular guy (who was a friend of a friend) was boasting about how many women he had fucked in the arse. He claimed that he had lost count of the exact number, but further claimed the majority of women he had slept enjoyed it. Without wanting to embarrass him with facts and figures I knew his claim to be bullshit. That was reaffirmed when I asked how many dirty endings he had experienced to which he replied “none”. Speak to anyone who partakes in enough backdoor action and they will tell you accidents do happen. It’s a fact - in real life or a porno.
This type of pub banter is typical for men. It is a well know fact that almost all men especially in the 18/35 year old bracket lie when discussing sexual encounters, the number of women they have slept with and fantasies explored. It’s in our DNA much like it is for women but in the complete opposite way. Typically when a man says he has slept with 20 women I would guess it’s closer to 10. And yet when a woman claims to have slept with 10 guys I would say it’s closer to 15.
As men, there are certain things that we feel we have to tick off the sexual bucket list. The reality is most guys seldom achieve the many feats one associates with sexual prowess. Which is why the majority of men suffer from insecurities throughout their adult life when it comes to sexual fulfillment and life achievements. But that is mostly their own fault because they pander round the subject of sex, sexual pleasure, and fantasies and settle for the “easy life” and end up wanking to porn rather than experimenting with their wife or girlfriend. This then creates a cascade of problems when they do have sex because they feel dissatisfied and resort to fantasizing about what they have watched on the likes of Porn Hub or Red Tube to reach climax.
The key to a successful relationship and a decent sex life is communication. I’m certainly not blaming guys for a shit sex life, although we are just as much to blame in most cases. Give a woman some comfort or kids and I’d say at least 60% see that as a green light for frumpy......sorry I meant comfortable underwear, sex if you have been a “good boy” or when they feel like it regardless of your needs.
The BUCKET LIST list of sexual exploits most men want to acheive
Threesome - The holy grail of achievements and one that cements your place in history and validates your existence.
Cocaine & Prostitutes - Proves that you are a baller on every level - right?
Group Sex - Surely better than a threesome? I mean fucking multiple women at the same time whilst with your mates. Is there anything better?
Video's & Photo’s - Just what every insecure man needs to feel validated. And don’t forget the bragging rights in the pub!
Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinner - three different woman in the same day without knowledge of each other (threesomes and group sex doesn’t count)
ATM (Arse to Mouth) - Now I am sure if you were to state on your dating profile that you were a keen advocate of a little ATM action you would get a huge increase in right swipes. But this is another great example of how a woman's mind works totally different to a mans.
But I'm sure you will agree that things can play out very differently in real life
Threesomes - Can be awkward especially if you suffer from stage-fright. Or maybe you're playing a bit part role if the women decide they prefer each other. Or perhaps you’ve got involved in a little BBW boy-boy-girl action and your male counterpart is packing a much bigger weapon.
Cocaine & Prostitutes - Where do I start. Let's just say we envisage a Dan Bilzerian type of scenario but for some, it's more likely to resemble a bunch of Eastern European chain smoking birds with a bag of street-level speed - think, limp dick, stretch marks and a huge dent in your wallet.
Videos & Photo’s - Does my arse look big? This has never happened to me before, and my dick is much bigger in real life. The tide has turned mother fucker. See if you're as comfortable with your body on camera being exposed to the masses. I know guys who have videoed monster sex sessions only to delete them as quickly as they cum because they were conscious of how their bodies looked, and how quick they bolted their load.
Want to explore a little bum fun with your partner? A good set of rules to adhere to can be found in a recent Neil Strauss interview with Sex Expert Emily Morse
The same can be said for “dirty talk” Not all woman are comfortable with being called a “fucking whore” or being told that you are going to “fuck the shit” out of them. As for “who’s ya daddy”.….. do I even need to go there?
Woman no matter how imaginative or open to the idea of exploring sexual fantasies they are will want to be respected outside the sexual encounter. In fact, most women will agree that respect plays a big part of how open they are to exploring sexual role play
On the topic of sexual role play
I think it’s fair to say it’s us men that have a desire for sexual exploration in the initial stages. Women for the best part are more hesitant because they don’t want to appear to be cheap or dare I say it "a slag" (not my words but a trusted female friend). That said, give it time and women tend to open up about their fantasies. But how open are you to exploration?
What’s good for the goose has to be good for the gander right?
What if your partner wanted to stick her finger up your arse, piss on you, chain you up in a gimp mask while whipping your ball sack and spitting in your face calling you a "worthless cunt". Would you be up for "experimenting" or "role play"?
Something to think about isn’t it.
Great sex has to be great for both parties. Anal sex swings both ways, as does slapping, choking, and gagging. The next time you get pissed off because your wife, girlfriend or one-night stand won’t succumb to your sexual desires, it will pay to remember that woman have them as well. How open minded are you when it comes to being out of your comfort zone?
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Damian King